school last year infected me.
now i spend every waking moment (when i'm not in pain)
thinking of people. how they talk to each other, what they are showing, saying, acting, behaving. is it kind? is it productive? is it social?
i think of what it truly means to be social organisms, and how much humans fail at it. i think of time and how little of it i have to do so very little. (reading a history of the taliban and herodotus helps to put you in your very small place in the world.)

i've identified so many things in my life that are important to work towards, but fail to know how to apply the right amount of balance to each:

- rabi and i; shouldn't be work, but yeah, it should be.

- family and friends; they don't like to think of themselves as work, but even love doesn't negate force and distance.

- teaching science; easy but time consuming, living environment this year.
- teaching inquiry; how do you facilitate learning how to learn?
- being a group member; in our school, its a different mindset for me than simply taking a role and being good at it. its not enough, and not necessary - what counts in understanding each other. (all three of these are really under the category of school, but occupying my brain in different capacities.

- art; where i am still happily finding my own design.

- war and peace; what can be done, other than trying to simply understand? So much... like needing to be there.

- living environment; being vegan and an otherwise smart consumer, while effective, is not enough unless the logic is found by so many more people. Seeing documentaries doesn't cut it either. also needing to be there.

- pain; which is now in my every move. sitting. standing. walking. can no longer run. still positive that it will go away, but after two months, i'm losing some vigilence.

- money; still need so much more to do so many things. Italy, Ireland, and New Zealand are still so far away from being a reality. Working this summer will pay for Montana, but that may be all. how about a new laptop, new LCD bulb and screen, new shoes.

- language; i miss costa rica cause it forced me to speak. now, i speak spanish, which for some damn reason i love so much, so very little.

that's enough for now. i don't feel sleepy, with all this stuff out there. but there's tomorrow to plan my life again.